The Glory Of The Running Man – An In Depth History
It is quite clearly the GREATEST DANCE MOVE EVER! Anyone who disagrees is a complete fool and should stop watching Strictly Come Dancing and start trying to run on the spot in a magnificently graceful fashion.
Basically the Running Man is running on the spot but instead of lifting up the legs to move them back you slide your foot backwards whilst stepping forward with the other leg. It is kind of like a much better and less boy touchy version of the moonwalk.
Most people think that The Running Man originated in the 1980’s from rap artists such as MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice and Torvill and Dean. But in fact the move goes far further back than the 80’s with the first sighting of it in about 30 AD when a man called Jesus used it to confuse ‘followers’ into thinking he was running across water, when it fact it is later believed he was simply doing ‘The Running Man’ in a shallow puddle.
Things get a bit blurry after that for a few hundred years and was next seen in 793 when the Vikings used it as an intimidation dance when invading Ireland much like the All Blacks perform a Haka. Scientists believe this early exposure to great dance moves is the reason for the amount of boybands that are grown in Ireland.
- In 1086 it was used as a celebratory dance by William The Conqueror after the Doomsday Book is written.
- Oxford University was founded in 1149 as a dance school, specialising in teaching the dance, then known as the ‘Willy Conquering Doomsday Celebratory MmmBop’ – It was later renamed ‘Genghis Kahning’ after Ghenghis Kahn invades Russia in 1223 and does the dance on the body of everyone he kills.
- In 1285 Spectacles are invented in Italy and they suddenly think the dance is stupid because they can see clearly, so they invent the move, ‘The Worm’ and it quickly becomes the national dance.
- In 1441 the first documented African slaves arrive in Europe – The standard of the dance greatly increases.
- The dance move is slowly worked upon and improved until in 1776 America declares itself independent of Great Britain after a long war over who owns the rights to the dance.
- 1804 and Napoleon is crowned Emperor Of France – His love of the dance is celebrated in the film ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ which is a factually accurate biography of his life.
- in 1848 Marx and Engels publish ‘The Communist Manifesto’ specifically to try and outlaw ‘The Running Man’. Instantly Communism is hated by all of America who still love to ‘get down’.
- 1876 Alexander Graham Bell invents the telephone, a device used specifically as a tool to tell as many people as possible how to do the dance. It later finds other uses as well.
- Christmas Day 1915 amidst the gory trench wars of WW1 a truce is called so that both army’s can do ‘The Running Man’ in no man’s land. The war later resumes because Britain and Germany could not decide who used the correct method.
- In 1939 Hitler outlaws the dance causing an outrage that led to World War 2.
- Neil Armstrong lands on the moon in 1969 and does what is considered to be the finest Running Man ever recorded. Lack of gravity is believed to have helped.
- 1980’s MC Hammer brings the dance move to the masses and many falsely believe he invented it.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in a 1987 movie called ‘The Running Man’, his muscles break most of the stage sets when trying to perfect the move.
- In the 00’s dancing games come out on games consoles, the final level is always to do ‘The Running Man’. New consoles such as the PS3 and Xbox 360 now do EXTREME variations of the move in new games that incorporate dick windmills.
So here is to The Running Man, one of the oldest and greatest dance moves OF ALL TIME! Everybody celebrate and watch this video. If you have any other videos of great Running Man dances add them in the comments, there can never be too many videos of such a great dance!